Batty!!!

Lego tease

The folks over at LEGO have released a press release on their line up of products that will be on display at the US ToyFair in New York during this coming week...


LEGO Group Unveils 2006 Product Line Guaranteed to Unlock Creative Potential, Inspire Imaginations of All Ages

-New and classic themes, next generation LEGO(R) MINDSTORMS(R) robotics, popular licensed characters continue momentum for world's leading construction toy brand-

The LEGO Group, the world's leading construction toy company, showcases innovative products for dreamers and creators of all ages this year as 150 new products join the LEGO(R) System of Play. The only high-quality, compatible building system that grows with children, the LEGO System empowers children to creatively express themselves, bring their imaginations to life and become the builders of tomorrow. Products are being shown during the annual American International Toy Fair in New York February 12-15.

"Consumer demand for LEGO branded construction toys is higher than ever. Last year, we took the number-one position among all boys' toy brands, aggregating all LEGO brand information reported by NPD Group, and we successfully re-established our 4+ construction theme business," said Soeren Torp Laursen, president, LEGO Americas, Pacific, Direct. "We recorded strong sales of LEGO Star Wars, but we also encountered the best performance since 2001 of our non-licensed, classic LEGO themes, with lines like CITY, DINO ATTACK(TM), KNIGHTS' KINGDOM(TM) and Racers all selling more than planned. LEGO products ranked high on children's wish list surveys last fall and we gained construction category market share."

He continued, "We have spent the last two years working very hard to re-focus the LEGO business on our unrivaled strengths - our core offering of construction sets - and our efforts have paid off. Moving forward, we will deepen our position as the leading construction toy brand with a balanced, innovative portfolio of construction sets that deliver the best and most fun building experience in the market for builders of all ages."

This year's LEGO line-up has something to spark imaginations of all ages:

Robotics building fun (ages 10+)

Consumer robotics the LEGO way moves into the next generation this August with LEGO MINDSTORMS(R) NXT. Smarter, stronger and more intuitive than ever, the MINDSTORMS NXT robotics toolset provides endless opportunities to build and program robots that do what kids want. New technologies, like a 32-bit microprocessor and Bluetooth, combine with four sensors, three motors, LEGO TECHNIC(R) pieces and completely new PC/Mac compatible programming software, to make it easy and fun to build robots beyond imagination.

LEGO(R) Themes (ages 5+)

"TIME TO POWER UP!" New LEGO EXO-FORCE(TM) takes imaginations to a mountain split in two, held together by bridges. Renegade robots will destroy mankind unless a team of young battle machine pilots can stop them. EXO-FORCE combines the building fun of traditional LEGO construction sets with the role-play adventure of action figures to create a futuristic world where kids become heroes, inspired by Manga animation. Kids build the machines and settings then create the excitement through play. New light brick "powers up" the machines.

Imaginations head "downtown" with classic build-and-play airport, hospital and construction site themes joining the LEGO CITY. Four new stunt racers, three new Ferrari playsets and a garage for tuning up collectible Tiny Turbos lead the new LEGO Racers speed team. And a World Cup year is the perfect time to "kick off" an all-new LEGO Soccer build-and-play tabletop game, revisiting one of the best-selling LEGO sets in company history. Medieval adventures of LEGO KNIGHTS' KINGDOM(TM) continue with six new constructible action figures and four new playsets expanding the castle grounds.

BIONICLE(R) (ages 7+)

A new island, evolving story and innovative product and packaging features drive an entirely new collection of constructible action figures and environments in the red-hot BIONICLE(R) property. A devious gang of Piraka (six to collect available now) arrive to take the Mask of Life, but a band of Inika (six to collect in August) heroes will challenge them with the counsel of the Matoran (six to collect available now) villagers. Piraka feature light-up eyes and glow-in-the-dark teeth, while Inika leverage a new strobe light technology to add role-play excitement. Three larger figures and three new LEGO playsets also launch in August.

Licensed building fun (ages 6+)

An agreement with Warner Bros. Consumer Products gives the LEGO Group construction toy rights for the classic Batman(TM) brand. LEGO Batman features six constructible play sets with strong vehicle focus (like the Batwing(TM) and Batmobile(TM)), cool functionality, gadgets and a library of collectible minifigures in April. The property's strong appeal with children and adult collectors makes it a perfect match for the LEGO brand.

An agreement with Nickelodeon gives LEGO Group master construction toy rights to the entire catalog of Nickelodeon properties. Two of the most popular Nickelodeon properties among boys come to life in brick form with three SpongeBob SquarePants sets and two Avatar: The Last Airbender sets available in August.

In 1999, Star Wars(TM) was the very first LEGO license, and to date, LEGO Star Wars is one of the most perennially successful lines. This year, six highly iconic, authentic models join the collection, like the Imperial Star Destroyer and Jabba the Hutt(TM)'s Sail Barge, while new minifigures drive collectibility.

Classic LEGO(R) building (ages 4+)

Open-ended LEGO building takes new shape this year with new classic building kits that offer everything kids need to build houses, buildings and vehicles, while newly branded LEGO Creator kits offer the possibility and instruction to build multiple models from one kit in cool themes like motorbikes, cars, dinosaurs and mythical creatures - anything a child imagines! New "FX" bricks add sound, light and motion for role play fun. LEGO TECHNIC(R) offers a wide selection of authentic models for skilled builders that replicate real life machinery and vehicles.

Building fun for preschoolers (ages 1-6)

Two starter sets join the award-winning LEGO QUATRO(TM) line, providing extra large bricks for smaller hands including a car chassis or jumbo figure to spark imaginative play. Top-selling LEGO DUPLO(R) Thomas & Friends continues, adding two iconic characters from the Island of Sodor - Harold the Helicopter and Cranky the Crane. And two new characters from the world of Bob the Builder - Sumsy and Scrambler - join the LEGO version of the beloved construction worker's fleet. More classic themes, vehicles and structures join the LEGOVILLE(R) assortment.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Yep, that's right, Toy Fair 2006 has begun and you can be sure that this is the first of many Toy Fair posts. Here are some of the latest Star Wars offerings. Nothing much to get too excited about. I'd rather see new Star Wars Clone Wars figures (wouldn't a Hammerhead be great?).

Did I do that?

Talking Steve Urkel (Hasbro, 1991)
From X-entertainment, "It seems like only the most annoying characters in pop cult history get the chance to become talking dolls, even if we happen to love those annoying characters. You've got Pee-wee Herman, Ed Grimley -- heck, I had a talking Flabber doll, and only three of you have ever even heard of him. With that train of thought, Steve Urkel of Family Matters fame clearly deserved to join the pack. Arguably the biggest star of the T.G.I.F. lineup outside of the Olsen twins, Jaleel White's formerly here-and-there role progressed into what might as well have been top billing. With several hundred dumb catch-phrases and a laugh track so confident in itself that viewers at home actually believed the crap onscreen was funny, Steve Urkel become immortalized in everything from a brand of cereal to this, the talking doll from Hell.





It's true -- pull Urkel's string, and he'll belt out one of a number of stupid phrases. "No sweat, my pet!" "Got any cheese?" I clocked thirteen tries to get a "did I do that," probably meaning that there's at least thirteen phrases. Maybe hundreds more. Of course, the doll being as old as it is, it doesn't work quite as well as it used to. "Do the Urkel" sounds more like "Don't hurl kill," a phrase that's just one grammatical touch away from being a challenge for kids to murder. "Oh. You got me...Urkel." That's not one of the things the doll says -- it's what a whole lotta kids said on Christmas morning in 1991.




The doll is hideous, but surprisingly able to hold a pose, and even more surprisingly able to stand under the power of Urkel's ridiculous sneakers. You can't remove his glasses, but you don't need to, in part because they don't have lenses, but mostly because they were only crafted to fit the head of Steve Urkel, who among other things is noted for having the most uniquely shaped head in the history of heads.

OVERALL: B-. Should've came with an accessory or two, and I hate the fact that the doll parades around in decidedly unUrkely stonewashed jeans. Other than that, yeah, it's a talking Steve Urkel doll. Actually, I'm changing that to a

OVERALL: B+, because I just noticed that they have a silhouette of Urkel in the place of the "K" of his name on the box. See? Not all dolls are bad or otherwise ignorable."

I'm still awake!!!

Those sand people finally got him

Phil Brown, best known for his role as Uncle Owen in Star Wars: A New Hope, passed away today at the age of 89.

WTF?

ROTS weapons and accessories

Vintage Star Wars commercials

Be warned, once you go to this site you won't leave until you've watched every Star Wars toy commercial! This is a real hoot and definitely worth the time. Grab your favorite beverage, kick back, and enjoy those silly (thrilling!) commercials of yesteryear. Go here: http://www.artoosnews.com/vintagetv/

Astromechtastic

As a collector, it's moments like this that make you feel like you know what you're doing. Here's my newly swelled collection of Astromech Droids. Among the many regular off-the-peg acquistions, there's some pricey Star Tours exclusives, a member of a Hoth four-pack and, best of all, the exclusive red droid from the Naboo Royal Starship.

I don't have every incarnation of R2 himself, nor do I intend to go after them. I thought I'd want him as a drinks server, but the tiny arms looked so chintzy and badly made that I passed. There's also the chromed collectible R2, but nah.

There is one missing non-R2 that I know of; that first wave of Sith figs featured an Astromech, and I never got him. I got a Sith Astromech they put out recently (reddish brown dome, lower left), but I missed that first one. I also know there's a new R5-D4 out soon, if not already (I do have that first awful missle-firing R5, but screw that thing).

And it's entirely possible there's more out there I missed.

The Complete, Stupid History of Jabba's Dungeon Playset

Today we're going to take a look at a vintage Star Wars playset that even some of the bigger enthusiasts may have overlooked. While chances are good that by the time this site's done I'll have covered every Star Wars item out there from toothbrushes to figurine hand soaps, this particular example is interesting because it shows just how odd and deep all this Star Wars lore crap can actually run. By the way, for those asking about trades and whatnot: no, I no longer collect the figures. It was a good way to pass the time when I had office jobs and generally hated my friends, but at this stage of the game, my extra 20 dollar bills are better served going towards things like socks and the occasional Pokemon DVD. But, in the same way some 35-year-olds maintain that KISS is still a viable musical treat, I'm probably more loyal to Lucas' achievements than my own family. Most of the toys I talk about here on the site were sold off a few years ago, but my Star Wars junk still remains. I can't bring myself to part with it, no matter how many times I open my closet door and a giant AT-AT falls on my head.

That said, its nice to know that we're helping inspire a new generation of collectors to go out and waste their money on toys. You've got to understand how this collecting thing actually works. Its not like all us 20- and 30-somethings still like to pit battles between 3" action figures under our blankets before we go to sleep. Its just a way to keep it close. I'm sure a lot of you out there wear shirts bearing the logo of your favorite sports teams. Well, we can't do that. If we wore Star Wars shirts outside, we'd generally be met with disgusted glances and punches to the stomach. Since we can't have that, we pledge our allegiance through the toys instead.

Of course, if you're buying that for one second and don't believe that we just really like toys, then I really should've followed my original instincts back in college and made headway into the field of law. But I digress: tonight's point of interest: Jabba's Dungeon Playset.





I'm thoroughly convinced that the whole concept of Jabba the Hutt was a way for George Lucas to vent out all his innermost perversions. Think about it - Jabba wasn't just your everyday alien gangster slug. He enslaves women, puts them in bikinis and forces them to dance for him. I'd presume, off-camera, he does more than that. When the girl gets on his nerves, he feeds her to a giant monster in his basement, laughing the whole way through. He eats live frogs, drinks heavily, doesn't wear any clothes, and has absolutely no subtlety when he gets gas. The whole thing's pretty sick when you think about it, but at least the guy got Carrie Fisher half naked before the drugs really took their toll. On that merit alone, it wouldn't matter if they guy spent the first trimester of Return of the Jedi throwing shit at the walls, he'd still be sort of a cult hero.

But Jabba's intricate web of evil ran a little deeper than scantily clad chicks with tentacles and frog food - he also liked to torture droids. Let's take a trip to his dungeon and see what goes on behind closed doors.




When C-3P0 and R2-D2 find themselves as pawns in the Rebellion's master plan to rescue Han from Jabba's clutches, they're forced to serve the crime lord for a brief period. Smartly, Luke never mentioned what a reeking filthhole the place was, otherwise the robots would've probably bailed. Jabba appoints 3P0 as his new interpreter. You know, the guy who makes sense of such lines as 'Bo Shuda.' Its a tough job, but if 3P0's skills give him the ability to use French phrases and tell stories to Ewoks, I'm sure he can handle this. Meanwhile, R2 is fitted with a tray and serves as a portable bar for the vast array of camel-headed aliens who might need a drink on Jabba's sail barge. In both cases, the job takes skill. But I'm not so sure the droids are used to failure penalties like the one pictured above.

In short, when a droid pisses Jabba off, he doesn't just turn it off. Instead, he sends it downstairs and has it disintegrated. Its negative reinforcement, you see. Still, I'm not sure what Jabba has to gain from destroying valuable robots that could easily be sold off, but let's face it, he's just a mean guy. The most amazing part about all this? Kenner actually marketed and sold a playset based on this 5-second scene!




I should mention that the aforementioned movie scene isn't necessarily what this playset is based on. The playset, as a whole, sucks. I could easily spout out five scenarios from the ROTJ that would've been better suited for the Kenner cash-in, which leaves the question: why was this one made? If you think it was a way for Kenner to get rid of some of the more unpopular figures, you may be partly right. The real reason is something different altogether, but we'll get to that in a minute. First, a look at what this playset actually was.

Essentially, it was a hard plastic base with a few hooks and plastic parts to aid animism experts with their droid torture. The playset retailed for less than 15 bucks, which was pretty cheap even for back then, especially considering that it came with three action figures. Of course, these figures weren't the ones topping many children's' wish lists.






You have to remember, there were nearly 100 different Star Wars figures by the time the original series ceased profitibility in 1984/85. Very few kids had parents willing to buy 100 action figures, so we just picked the ones we liked the most. Suffice to say, few kids threw their support to the many ugly aliens seen for 3.5 seconds in Jabba's Palace. The Dungeon included 8D8, the 'torture droid.' His job was to apply hot irons to the feet of the bad robots of Jabba's court. Total onscreen appearance didn't surpass seven seconds, but since he's a robot, we'll let it slide. Also, we've got Nikto, one of the many creatures with terrible aim aboard Jabba's sail barge. An overview of his overall importance: Nikto ain't even his name. That's his species' name. Don't ask me why I know that, one too many coupons for Barnes & Nobles Online, I guess. Rounding out the unholy trio is Klaatu, shattering fashion in his skiff guard outfit.

As a kid, I had all three. But I was also pretty spoiled and unnaturally obsessed with Star Wars, to the degree of which is someone got me a birthday or Christmas present that didn't have some connection to the trilogy, they'd make my bad list for life. However, I'm not so sure many others followed my lead with that one. The toy line was so popular that virtually every product was mass-produced from the getgo, so in the rare cases where things didn't sell, action had to be taken. In this case, three of the lesser-valued characters found themselves stuck inside airtight Kenner baggies and shoved into a box for a playset that doesn't seem to be anything more than a rectangular piece of plastic and a few odd hooks. Then again, you gotta look at it like this. Klaatu has an action figure, and Chris Elliot doesn't. Its a mass injustice, so I'm pretty sure these guys were just happy for any representation they could get.

Despite that, its incorrect to say that this playset only saw the light of day as a way for Kenner to unload unwanted action figures. Its not uncommon in the toy industry for companies to recycle older toys to save on production costs, and that's exactly what we're seeing here. About four years before this playset went on the market, Star Wars fans had already seen something remarkably similar in the Droid Factory playset. They're both made from the same mold, and ironically enough, neither were very highly sought. Even though the Droid Factory sucked pretty much to the same degree as this playset, it wouldn't have stood a chance anyway. Look at how they marketed the sucker...





How do you take the focus of a toy that sucks? Feature the two ugliest children of all time in the commercial. The only lasting images that stay with you after viewing it certainly aren't of the playset. The ad featured the above kids, absolutely insane with delight, putting together all the various plastic pieces the Droid Factory offered while the most sense-shattering score played in the background. I think the spot was only around 25 seconds long, but this was a half-minute of absolute torture. Actually, most of the old Star Wars toy commercials are a clear indication of how far advertising has come in general - for the most part, they prominently displayed fairy children running in circles on lawns shouting various character names. Absolutely surreal. Its like they got in some unmarked van and held a camera out the window at various trailer parks nationwide. When they compiled enough candid footage of kids making complete asses of themselves, they'd add in this horrible music track with a guy announcing Star Wars figures in such a way that you'd think the commercials were for the second coming of Christ.

But those humble beginning led to Jabba's Dungeon Playset. For those curious, the commercials for the toys by the time the third movie came out did get a little better. The kids weren't quite as freakish, but they'd still do some pretty inane things in the thirty seconds they were given. I remember one ROTJ commercial in particular with two kids flipping over a makeshift bridge for 20 seconds. Mind you, the bridge wasn't a Star Wars toy, it was just a piece of wood. There is no way this stuff was scripted. But hey, the toys sold, so I guess the key to effective advertising is confusing the customer. Sometimes its easier to just buy the damn thing than comprehend it. Why do you think so many people watch MTV's Undressed?

The playset's role in Star Wars collecting history isn't done yet, believe it or not.




I can't believe a toy so flaccid has this much history, but it does. Sears was a big part of the toyline back then, often having exclusive figures and playsets available through its stores and holiday catalogs. By the way, I think I speak for most people in my age group when I recognize the Sears Wishbook as our first literary experience. They had a great relationship with Kenner apparently, as some items were only sold through them. Today, those items fetch a pretty high cost. The Dungeon isn't quite as rare, as Sears sold off their backstock Star Wars items to other toy chains when the line's popularity diminished, so the playset was available at clearance prices at several stores throughout the nation. The second edition, on the other hand, came out so late and in limited enough numbers that its real hard to come by today.

The only difference between the two are the figures that come with it. While the first edition came with relatively unpopular figures, the second set's trio are some of the most wanted collectibles on the market today. Right before Kenner put the nail in the line's coffin, they marketed a 'Power of the Force' line. These were the action figures that came sealed with an aluminum coin. They also make up the last of the released figures, and some of the rarest, like Luke in the Stormtrooper outfit, and Han Solo in the Carbonite Chamber. There may be a few of you out there who remember seeing around 20 figures listed on the back of your figure's package that you could never find. Those were the POTF figures. The subline only had a few contributions in the vehicle/playset department, and this second version of Jabba's Dungeon is one of them.




Aside from being the rarest Star Wars figures, the POTF toys were generally the most well-made. They were more articulate, detailed, and some came in poses or with accessories people weren't used to seeing. The second dungeon playset featured three of these new figures: Amanaman, EV-9D9, and Barada. Sold separately, the packaged figures can cost as much a hundred bucks each or even more than that in today's market. But even stuck in Kenner baggies, they boost the second dungeon's value way up. Let's take a look at the new trio...







Barada, like Klaatu and Nikto, is just another one of Jabba's sail barge guard people, only he looks a lot more like a pirate. If you'll notice, the three alien names put together are a Lucas tribute to the classic sci-fi flick, The Day The Earth Stood Still. Gort rules. EV-9D9's appearance in the playset makes the most sense of all six figures - the female droid was the only one actually in the scene the playset's based on. All you need to know about her is that she's the only robot I've ever seen who's managed to use the word 'feisty.' Rounding out the troops is Amanaman, who is so unbelievably bizarre that he gained himself a spot in my tribute to the forgotten heroes of Star Wars back in January.

To show you how much value is placed on the three later figures, the cost of the second version of the playset in mint shape can be more than double the original. The POTF figures were exceedingly rare, even the high prices don't tell the tale. I couldn't find a single one of these figures as a kid, and we must've hit a toy store at least twice a week in search of them. As for the actual playset, its not very hard to come by at all - without the figures, its one of the cheapest playsets you can buy today. As we head into the second prequel, it'll be interesting to see how these values appreciate. By the time we're dead, our kids will be spending a grand to get a Barada figure. Scary, right?

White boxes!

I'm having a good week so far. Inside a regular-looking box from Hong Kong were these two white boxes...and inside those were my astromech droids! The custom slip read simply "toy."

This is great. There was a point last month when I had six packages en route to me, and now they're all here, safe and sound.

Mmmm...toys.