Friday, February 17, 2006

Comic book ads

Every kid worth their salt remembers those famous comic book ads. You know the ones I’m talking about. Those ads that showed way cool looking things that we could send away for. These ads always held mystery for me. No matter how many times I came across them, I always marveled at their coolness. Of course, it never occurred to me to pony up some $ and send away for anything, mostly because I never had any money to pony with. As I was reading Grant Morrison’s current Superman title in Borders Bookstore, I suddenly realized that the ads in comic books now suck. There’s no promise of cool things anymore. I wonder why? No doubt because with the internet you can now see what you’re getting. 25+ years later I realized that I’ve never actually seen pictures of the actual toys advertised in those 1970s comics. Well, wonder no more because all the answers are here and all you need to do is look down.

Ah, the holy grail of mystery! The ad promises an inconceivable amount of cool Army product for less than $2. So what do you get for your hard-earned cash?

Apparently you get some 2D soldiers in a shoebox. I don't know why, but looking at this picture makes me wish I had actually sent for this set, it's pretty freakin' cool in it's cheapness.

Next we have the other ad that always caught my eye. Remember this tantilizing gem?

Even cooler than the Army ad, now we get Roman soldiers fighting to the bloody death! So what's the deal? This is the deal.

Again, kinda cool. Kinda.

Another sales pitch that engendered curiosity was the Knights ad.

Again, surprise, surprise, we get some pretty cool looking flat figurines.

I started this product pursuit believing that I was going to make fun of these forgotten treasures, but now I actually want them. Now I need to gert my hands on some x-ray specs. . .

1 comment:

Octopunk said...

Wow! Those look like crap!

I've only ever seen the army man ad, and I'd always assumed they were army men like lots of kids had, that look like the ones from Toy Story. These are teeny pieces of crap! Screw two-dimensional, I say.

Although that picture of the box with all that stuff in it is kind of cool. I imagine the most fun you'd have would be that moment, when you first open the box. Seconds later, the disappointment sets in. Maybe even crying.