Monday, February 13, 2006

Did I do that?

Talking Steve Urkel (Hasbro, 1991)
From X-entertainment, "It seems like only the most annoying characters in pop cult history get the chance to become talking dolls, even if we happen to love those annoying characters. You've got Pee-wee Herman, Ed Grimley -- heck, I had a talking Flabber doll, and only three of you have ever even heard of him. With that train of thought, Steve Urkel of Family Matters fame clearly deserved to join the pack. Arguably the biggest star of the T.G.I.F. lineup outside of the Olsen twins, Jaleel White's formerly here-and-there role progressed into what might as well have been top billing. With several hundred dumb catch-phrases and a laugh track so confident in itself that viewers at home actually believed the crap onscreen was funny, Steve Urkel become immortalized in everything from a brand of cereal to this, the talking doll from Hell.

It's true -- pull Urkel's string, and he'll belt out one of a number of stupid phrases. "No sweat, my pet!" "Got any cheese?" I clocked thirteen tries to get a "did I do that," probably meaning that there's at least thirteen phrases. Maybe hundreds more. Of course, the doll being as old as it is, it doesn't work quite as well as it used to. "Do the Urkel" sounds more like "Don't hurl kill," a phrase that's just one grammatical touch away from being a challenge for kids to murder. "Oh. You got me...Urkel." That's not one of the things the doll says -- it's what a whole lotta kids said on Christmas morning in 1991.

The doll is hideous, but surprisingly able to hold a pose, and even more surprisingly able to stand under the power of Urkel's ridiculous sneakers. You can't remove his glasses, but you don't need to, in part because they don't have lenses, but mostly because they were only crafted to fit the head of Steve Urkel, who among other things is noted for having the most uniquely shaped head in the history of heads.

OVERALL: B-. Should've came with an accessory or two, and I hate the fact that the doll parades around in decidedly unUrkely stonewashed jeans. Other than that, yeah, it's a talking Steve Urkel doll. Actually, I'm changing that to a

OVERALL: B+, because I just noticed that they have a silhouette of Urkel in the place of the "K" of his name on the box. See? Not all dolls are bad or otherwise ignorable."


Octopunk said...

And your point is? Are you trying to make me feel good by pointing out things I'll never spend money on?

Actually, I do feel a little better.

JPX said...

Aw come on, he's precious!

Octopunk said...

So's uranium, but I don't keep it in the top of my closet.